1] When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
2] Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit ….wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
3] Wow now I’m a graduate…….Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees widout brains
4] One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
5] When i am good i am best , when i am bad i am worst.
6] Without me its just awso.
7] I wish i could trade my heart for another liver …..so that i can drink more and care less
8] You are the product of 4 billion years of evolution, now fucking act like it.
9] Even romeo went from being “in a relationship” to “it’s complicated”.
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